With less than a week before the Super Bowl, we're making a big final push this week. We have events lined up every day this week, and we're dedicated to making the most of the last week on tour.
We wake up relatively early and decide that it's a day to do those last minute errands necessary to making this week go smoothly. First on the agenda, a complete inventory of everything in the RV. Every frisbee, autographed baseball, Scott Stapp signed album, promotional t-shirt, Appleton Jamaican Rum baby-tee, and, well, you get the idea. Rafe is assigned the task while Phil takes the Porsche and runs down to Drexler's to check out the parking spot and meet with bar manager, David Black.
Four hours later, Phil returns to find a completely spent and exhausted Rafe. Every bin on the RV is open, stuff is strewn far and wide, and Rafe has a list a mile long, including some clues as to where to find them:
12 Signed A-Rod Baseball Bats [ back right ]
1 Creed album signed by Scott Stapp
8 thick paper stock signed by all celebs in CPS
1 Signed Nick Bolliteri Tennis Cap [ liquor cabinet ]
1 Signed Football (unknown) [ under desk ]
1 Signed Football (unknown) [ under desk ]
1 Signed Baseball (unknown) [ under desk ]
2 Jack Daniels Golf Bags [ back right ]
7 John Gruden Books [ front right ]
1 Box of USA drink coozies [ liquor cabinet ]
1 Vortex Hand-Crank Blender [ liquor cabinet ]
4 Appleton Drink Glasses [ liquor cabinet ]
1 Pair of Everlast Boxing Gloves [ liquor cabinet ]
30 USA Water Bottles [ back right ]
50 Appleton T-Shirts [ 40 mid left, 10 media cabinet ]
3 Bags full of UB Frisbees [ front left ]
80 UB Baseball Caps [ mid left ]
30 Appleton Baseball Caps [ mid left ]
14 USA Golf Shirts (assorted) [ back right ]
2 Khaki Appleton long sleeve shirts [ back right ]
2 American Tailgater T-Shirts [ media cabinet ]
2 USA T-shirts [ media cabinet ]
2 Appleton Baby-T's [ media cabinet ]
22 USA Baby-T's [ media cabinet ]
4 USA Flag Shirts [ media cabinet ]
12 USA Baseball Caps [ media cabinet ]
20 Sun Dog Sunglasses (assorted) [ media cabinet ]
6 Boxes of UB CDs [ bedroom closet ]
1 Pair Bolle Appleton Sunglasses [ liquor cabinet ]
3 Brian Jordan (Dodgers) Bobble Head Dolls [ under desk ]
1 Eric Lindros Bobble Head Dolls [ under desk ]
1 American Tailgater Banner [ front right ]
1 Jack Daniels Banner [ front right ]
2 Boxes of John Jacobs Catalogs [ sports bin ]
2 Boxes of AT Catalogs [ sports bin ]
1 Box of Lazy Days Catalogs [ electric bin ]
2 Boxes of USA blue flyers [ front right ]
1 Bag full of Appleton lapel pins [ liquor cabinet ]
2 USA Flag Shirts [ media cabinet ]
7 sleeves of Appleton drink coasters [ front right ]
10 Appleton Bar Towels [ mid left ]
2 Appleton Drink Caddies [ liquor cabinet ]
1 Box of Appleton Evolve Flyers [ front right ]
2 Golo Golf Game Sets
We're going to use up as much of this stuff as possible at the parties this week. In particular there is a huge charity auction on Saturday where we hope to get rid of most of the accumulated memorabilia.
Repacked, 100% full with water, we load up the Porsche and head down to Drexler's at around 4pm. Houston traffic, widely regarded as one of the worst metropolitan areas in the United States, was fairly benign, and we arrived, parked, did the slide outs, and had the rig completely ready for action by 5:30.
We loaded into the car and headed down to Reliant Arena at around 6:30. The first ever Super Bowl Kickoff Party was waiting our attention, and we didn't want to be late. Yanni, the international super star piano/synth player, is a big fan of the tour and poker, and was kind enough to contact us a few weeks ago with an offer of tickets to the event. We were thrilled, because we were very unlikely to pay the $100/ticket otherwise.
We picked up our tickets at will call, as promised, and were relieved to see "Friend of Yanni" on the envelope. Nice. As Yanni was the key performer for the event, we were looking forward to excellent seats. But, evidently, there are levels of friendship. When we got to our seats, we were in less than prime territory. Ah well, at least we didn't spew $100 a ticket.
Jim Nantz, the CBS Sports anchor, came out, introduced the event, and then spewed praise on 38 of Houston's all time greatest sports stars. Carl Lewis, Clyde Drexler, Moses Malone, Mary Lou Retton, George Foreman, Leroy Burrell, some smoking hot but unknown platform diver, Andre Ware, Warren Moon, Jeff Bagwell, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettit, a bunch of coaches we'd never heard of, Cheryl Swoops... anyway, you get the idea. Praise for the athletes, Yanni-inspirational music, more praise, more intros, more thanks, video clips, Yanni, a hand off of the game ball to former President Bush, more Yanni, blah blah blah. One would think for an event of this magnitude, that the beer would be free or at least severely discounted. Not at all true: they still charged $7.50.
After Yanni-fest, we headed back to the RV for an early night, some online poker at UltimateBet.com, and to play our recently acquired favorite Yanni album, Reflections in Passion. 6 more days until the Super Bowl.
Woke up early this morning to do a local call in radio show, 93.7. They were heavily poker-centric, but we did our best to keep them focused on Ultimate Sports Adventure.
Shortly thereafter, KPRC, the local NBC affiliate, came out to the RV and did a very nice piece. They interviewed us inside and out and seemed genuinely impressed with the tour and story.
Following the interview, we headed out in search of a framing shop. We have some poster boards signed by every single player in the first season of Celebrity Poker Showdown that we wanted to auction off for the Cancer Research & Prevention Foundation on Saturday. "Just down the street" turned into 5 solid miles of hellish traffic, eventually finding a very helpful Aaron Brothers store.
After describing the project, that came up with a total cost per frame of $211. Clearly that would not do. We said, "What can you do for $100" and remarkably, the expert framer found a way to do exactly the same project for $100 each. Amazing.
Back to the RV, and time for an extremely critical Roshambo for the bedroom. There was definitely an intensity and pressure we both felt knowing that this was the last Bedroom-sham-bo on tour. Phil quickly leapt out to a 2-0 lead with a masterful paper-paper gambit, but Rafe saw through it and countered with the rock-scissors gambit that paid off and tied the score at 2-2. We decided to start over, neither of us willing to gamble the bedroom on a single toss. Another 2-0 lead from Phil, another epic battle and comeback for Rafe. Another restart. Then, Rafe, employing the Rock-Rock-Rock-Rock series, one of his all-time favorites, got the 2-0 lead and was certain he'd put it all away. But, Phil, sensing the switch, countered with 3 rocks in a row, dashing Rafe's Scissors-Rock-Scissors counter, and again we had a tie. Rafe, sensing weakness and a well-known pattern, said the magic words: "One Time, Baby." And now, with one Roshambo between us and the bedroom, we studied each other intently for at least a minute before the final throw.
Having described every single move in the epic battle, we won't bother you with the actual moves of the final throw. Suffice to say that Phil will be enjoying the last week on tour - enjoying it from the luxurious accommodation afforded by the pull-out couch.
We had a 10:30 TV interview down at the Super Bowl Media Center. Donning our Divot's Sportswear USA Flag Shirts, we headed down. Unfortunately, the media center was completely disorganized. No one could tell us where to go, where to get our credentials, what list to check, or where to find the news crew. After struggling with ineptitude for nearly an hour, we finally got hold of the crew on the phone and then were told that they had to cancel the interview. Whatever.
Back to the RV, and shortly thereafter, we're whisked by car over to the house of Houston philanthropist and socialite, Carolyn Farb. Now, Carolyn has never in her lifetime played poker before, but we've invited her to play in the Celebrity Super Bowl Challenge we're putting on at Drexler's on Satuday. She is a very key addition to the game because she is widely regarded as one of the very best fundraisers in the entire world. That, and there is a hint that if she gets to play in the game that she'll invite Paris and Nikki Hilton to play as well. Having Paris in the game would certainly transform the poker game into the must-have video of 2004. So, we were asked to give Carolyn private tutoring.
We arrived with her handlers at around 1:30. Her tuxedo-clad butler answered the door. There were already two local film crews set up in the house, a CBS and the FOX affiliates, ready to catch all the action. The former mayor of Houston was there with Carolyn giving her warm up lessons and teaching her the rankings of the hands. Clearly, we had an uphill battle ahead.
Cameras rolling, we proceeded over the course of the next two hours to explain the entire game and strategy of No-Limit Texas Holdem to Carolyn. Oh yeah, and we reviewed that three of a kind beats two pair, and that a flush is five cards of the same suit, kind of like gin rummy but not really. Carolyn was clearly flustered, but was a very good sport and seemed to grasp the "no-limit" aspect of the game quite well. Our advide: If you have AA, KK, AK, AQ, QQ, or JJ, bet all of your chips at your very first opportunity. Fold every other hand that isn't a pair or "suited-connected." If you flop the top pair, trips, a straight, or a flush, bet all of your chips at your first opportunity. Pretty damned clear. At least, we thought, she'll be playing tight.
After thanking Carolyn, we left for yet another TV interview down at the media center. Yet, this time as well, they cancelled on us, citing "we thought you'd be coming with Clyde Drexler" as their excuse. Frustrated by the double cancellation, we headed back to the RV and got ready for the party at Drexler's, the African American Sports Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
About 8pm, the bar manager, David, came out to the RV to get us. He snuck us in the back door of the restaurant and escorted us to a table in the back of the venue. There were some real sports luminaries in attendance: Clyde, Moses Malone, Cheryl Swoops, Carl Lewis, Leroy Burrell, and more. We ordered some dinner, which by the way, is tremendously good food, and sat back and watched what was pretty much a snoozer of a ceremony.
About half way through, David brought Clyde "The Glide" Drexler over to meet us. We were thrilled. He was genuinely a very nice and accommodating person, as is his entire family who we got to meet over the course of the week since Drexler's World Famous BBQ is truly a family owned and run business. We ended up talking to Clyde for nearly an hour. He was really looking forward to the poker game on Saturday, and he assured us that he was trying to get his friends to commit to the game. On that note, he cornered his buddy, Moses Malone, introduced us, and then pressured him by basically calling Moses a pussy. Moses, three time NBA most valuable player, 7'0, 300 lbs, is not, by any measure, a pussy. But, Moses wasn't having any of it, and we couldn't nail him down.
Next on the to-pressure list was Carl Lewis, the guy with innumerable Olympic gold medals. Carl was a fan of Bravo's Celebrity Poker and quickly agreed to play on Saturday. Maybe just a little too quickly... But then again, this is the guy that runs the 100 meter in like 9.3 seconds, so maybe he does everything quickly.
Cheryl Swoops was next, and Clyde was relentless with her. "Come on Cheryl, you're not doing anything baby, come on down and play some poker." Well, she was scheduled to play in a basketball game in Dallas at 7:30, so it seemed very unlikely that she'd cancel that event. Incidently, it struck us that Sheryl Swoops might not have been so good at basketball had her name been Cheryl Brick. Just a thought. Clyde: "That girl is scary good. She's better than about half the guys in the NBA." Another tidbit from Clyde... when Phil asked him who he thought would be regarded as a better player 10 years from now, Carmelo Anthony or LeBron, Clyde answered Carmelo. Bet on it.
A severely early wake up alarm this morning, due to our 8:30 scheduled appearance with KPTY "The Party" with Dave Morales and Coco Dominguez. Rafe drove us out there in the Porsche, about a thirty minute trip.
Now, "The Party" is not particularly our demographic, but Dave is a big poker fan and a fan of the tour. We were thrilled to be on the air. One of the interesting segments that do is called the "UHHH GAME." Dave picks a random topic, and the participant must speak extemporaneously for 30 seconds without pausing on that chosen subject with saying "uh" or "ah." Phil was pitted against a caller, the subject: Strip Clubs. Phil lasted about 12 seconds before succumbing to "uh" right after the word nipple. The caller won two tickets to some concert in town.
Soon, the very small studio was joined by the very large and very funny Ralphie May. Now, for those truly hardcore television watchers, Ralphie is the rotund fellow from "Last Comic Standing." He came in second and has, since, become a comedic legend. Ralphie: "Ya'll come down to the Laff Stop tonight, cause I'm telling you, I'm looking around the audience and we need some more black and brown there... it's looking way too crackery for my taste." So much for political correctness.
At ten, we left the studio, dropped Phil off for a haircut, and then went for lunch. Who do we see at Houston's famous Café Adobe? Yes, you guessed it, Ralphie May, his girlfriend, and another comic friend from LA. We joined them for lunch, talked shop, and laughed our asses off while eating a great dish called "Adobe Avocado," fried avocado stuffed with chicken, cheese, etc. Delicious. It's hard to make comedians laugh, but half way through dinner, Ralphie was talking about a restaurant in town having very "gay food." Phil responded, "what, they have fried gerbils on the menu?" Three comedians choked and cracked up simultaneously. Look for that joke to appear in a comedic routine in the near future.
After a short stint at yet another party in Drexler's, we decided to check out the downtown area. A $5 taxi ride, and soon we were on Main St. along with about 200,000 other revelers. We had no idea where to go or what to do, so Phil decided to ask advice from two late-twenty looking couples that were standing around watching the entrance to some bar very intently. They suggested a place called Dean's. Phil asked why they were hanging out and watching the bar, and they said "to try to see some famous people." Phil, sensing an opportunity too good to pass up, said, "You haven't seen a single person from TV the whole night?" They said no. "Oh, that's too bad." Just about then, one of the guys says, "Hey, why do you look so familiar? I feel like I've seen you before." Lightbulbs. And both of the girls, almost simultaneously, said, "You're that poker guy from Celebrity Poker!" Phil responded, "So much for not meeting or seeing any people from television." And off we went to find Dean's.
Dean's was lively, as were almost all the bars. The doorman, collecting a modest $5 cover charge, accepted Phil's challenge of Roshambo double or nothing. He was quickly dispatched by going rookie-rock, and Phil was in for free. Rafe was denied the double-or-nothing and had to pay.
Shortly thereafter, we were joined by World Poker Tour super stars Antonio Esfandiari and Annie Duke. Soon, USA's sponsors from American Tailgater showed up: Luke and PJ along with mutual friend, Brian. It was, officially, a party. Antonio, a world-class magician, was busy fetching vibe by suspending napkins in thin air, pulling cards out of his ass, and making doves appear from his jacket sleeves. Annie and Rafe were in some deep and meaningful conversation, Phil was doing his best to sign autographs and keep a group of 5 girls entertained with stories from the set of Celebrity Poker. We were the party.
At about 1am, Antonio and Phil had the bright idea of crashing the M-Bar, the uber-exclusive club next door, tickets going for $150 a piece. Don't worry, Phil says while completely hammered, we'll get right in, no cover. Antonio, skeptical, is completely fearless, so off we go. There is a line a mile long, but they walk right to the front, where Antonio talks to the doorman for about 15 seconds before we're escorted right in, no cover. That's semi-celebrity for ya. Antonio and Phil hit the open bar before heading down a corridor the even more exclusive club section where there are scantily clad models dancing on a stage, paparazzi everywhere, and some other semi-famous people doing semi-obnoxious things.
"Phil, I'm from a new vodka company called . We're big fans of the show, do you think we could get a picture of you with our girls?" Um, those scantily clad girls on stage, Phil asks... Yes, those girls. Count me in. But, after that, it seemed as if the party was winding down, so we headed back to Dean's. The 2am shut down happened, and then we were all looking for "After Hours" places. We were directed down the road to another bar, everyone paid a $20 cover change, and ordered another drink. Phil started taking pictures very liberally of the action happening in the bar. Some of the guys in the bar took exception, and he just barely avoided getting his butt kicked before we decided it was best to call it a night.
At noon, our PR agency, the Glasure Group, showed up. Jack Glasure and his lieutenant, Scott, were ready to rock and roll for the weekend. After a quick lunch at Drexler's, we headed out for the media center with Scott in tow to be our "handler." Now, a handlers job is quite simple, and could, without losing much clarity, be called "pimp."
We got to the media center, secured our access, and started working up and down Radio Row. There are 100 sports radio stations from across the country there, all broadcasting live. The idea: have Scott go up to the producer of the station, "pimp" the tour, and wait to go on live.
We did quite a few interviews, many of which we recognized from last year's tour of radio row. Everyone was very excited about the end of the tour and in talking about poker and Celebrity Poker Showdown. It was a successful day.
One highlight came immediately to mind. A station in Buffalo, NY arranged the very first "Celebrity Radio Poker Showdown." The idea was to get Phil to play poker with ESPN's anchor, Kenny Mayne, for radio. Stupid? Maybe. Funny? Definitely. Kenny Mayne was hilarious, and after a warm up hand, Phil was dealt pocket 9's against the host's A-5 suited, the 9's held up, and Phil won a packet of Cappucino, 2 tea bags, 7 peanuts, and a Super Bowl media guide after putting the guy all in before the flop. It seemed like a good idea to eat one of the peanuts before taking on Kenny Main heads up for the Radio Championship, but just as Phil ingested the peanut, Kenny cracked a joke about this being the stupidest 10 minutes of radio he'd ever done. Phil couldn't take it, and promptly inhaled the entire peanut down his windpipe. He choked, puked 4 times, and still couldn't get the peanut dislodged. Rafe took over for Phil, as he puked three more times, still to no avail. Finally, after a huge heave, out popped the peanut. Kenny was clearly disturbed, but Phil rejoined the broadcast and made light of what was a very bad situation. The rest of radio row was not impressed.
Kenny invited us back to the ESPN headquarters so we could pitch some high-up executive on doing a 30 minute show on USA. They were very nice. We'll keep you posted on the progress on that front.
Soon thereafter, we ran into Jerome Bettis. He was doing interviews and we found out he was a huge fan of the poker shows. Of course, we asked him to join us for the poker game on Saturday and he quickly accepted. "Do you mind if I bring my best friend, Eddie George". Score! Other notables we saw were Bryon Allen, who remembered us from the previous year, and congratulated us on the completion of the tour. Ice Cube, Master P, and a bunch of other guys were hanging around as well. Great exposure for the tour, and we felt very lucky to be on the air two days before the big event.
After the media center, it was back to Drexler's for the Clear Channel celebrity gala. We met some sports stars (including Patriots offensive lineman, Matt Light) and did some hobnobbing, and then decided to head out on the town yet again.
As soon as we arrived, Jack had drinks for everyone, was rounding up cute girls, and had our group as the entire center of attention in the bar. He pulled over two very attractive girls, Danielle and Arwen, and bought another round. And another. An hour later, we were all heading down to another Houston Hot Spot, BAR Houston. The line was long, but lucky for us, we had some great contacts at the Bar. Phil knows the owner, Michael, and after dropping a few names and a short radio call, all 10 of us were inside, drinking, dancing, and partying like Rock Stars. Several times, with over 1000 people inside, Michael issued a "Ultimate Sports Adventure IN DA HOUSE" between songs. Very cool.
With the BAR closing, it was a tough call. Find an after hours bar, or head back to the RV for a little karaoke party. Of course, we chose the later option, and the dogs were howling outside the RV until at least 4:30am.
The 9am wakeup alarm was brutal. We went BIG BIG BIG Friday night, and with all the furious activities and events planned for the day, there was really only one way to start the day: Red Bull.
The first event planned was a massive tailgate party outside the RV. With the entire gang gathered for setup, it went pretty quickly. PJ and Luke from American Tailgater oversaw the entire operation, Jack and Scott were busy arranging media credentials and helping with setup. We were busy doing chores, running down to the framing store to pick up our items, and planning for the poker tournament due to kickoff at 5pm.
At noon, the tailgate party officially kicked off. We had the world's best products available for demonstration:
Ducane Chuckwagon Grill ("the ultimate tailgating system")
Cooper Cooler (chills a warm bottle or can in under a minute!)
SkyBox by Maytag (team branded soda can dispensers)
Floppy Flask (helps you sneak alcohol into stadiums ;-)
Pigtail Food Flipper (looks like a dentist tool that expertly flips grill items)
Tailgator Blender (gas powered blender)
Fan Brands (brand your steak with your name or logo)
We were also handling out samples of Appleton Estate Jamaican Rum. About a hundred people ended up showing up, including a local television crew. A very good time was had by all.
At around 3pm, the Coushatta Casino from Lake Charles, Louisiana, showed up with 2 tables, 4 dealers, cards, chips, and a check to CRPF for $500. They would be there for the entire day, and they very generously donated their time to the poker tournament.
We were furiously preparing for the Celebrity Super Bowl Poker Challenge. We had a lot riding on this event, and to tell you the truth, we were nervous. Over 100 people had purchased tickets for the event at $50 / ticket. Still, everyone was showing up and doing what they were supposed to do. The Audio/Visual team arrived and started working, the riser teams showed, Matt Savage (arguably the world's premiere tournament director these days) showed, and finally, at 4:15, our celebrities started arriving.
Phil directed them the table where Matt Savage was conducting "pre tournament practice" hands. Phil was visibly concerned that the AV wasn't working properly. Clyde Drexler showed up. Carolyn Farb showed. Jerome Bettis and Eddie George arrived. Bill Simmons from ESPN showed. Jeff Bagwell came in. Marcus Allen did too. Still no AV. At 5pm, the anticipated start of the tournament, we decided to give the AV guys about 20 more minutes. Over 40 members of the media showed up, including Access Hollywood and the New York Times. This was, as we looked around the room and saw more than 300 people, much bigger than we anticipated.
At 5:20, with still no AV equipment, there was little choice but to get the tournament started. So, we divided the celebrities into two groups. At this point, Ultimate Sports Adventure Hall of Famer, Rick Wampler, who had skipped class at UVA at our encouragement to attend the festivities, proved to us why he deserves the USA MVP Award. We had invited poker superstars Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, Andy Bloch, and Phil Hellmuth Jr. to be our guests at the event, however we made it clear that this was an amateur-only celebrity event and they would not be able to play. However, all the non-poker celebs really wanted to play with the pros, so Rick came up with the brilliant idea of giving them a handicap. While all the amateurs would start with $5000 in chips, the pros would start with only $200. Two measly chips! This was a nearly impossible handicap to overcome since the blinds started at $100-$200. But it made everyone happy, and it also saved the celebs from the dubious distinction of being the first to bust out of the tournament. Jerome Bettis was particularly thrilled to be playing in the same game with Phil and Chris, and to outlast them both.
So, here was the starting lineup:
Table 1: Jerome Bettis, Clyde Drexler, Phil Hellmuth, Chris Ferguson, Jeff Bagwell, "Rog" (a local radio personality that promoted the event all week), and Clyde's best friend Ralphie McInvale.
Table 2: Eddie George, Houston philanthropist Carolyn Farb, Marcus Allen, World Poker Tour Pro Andy Bloch, everyone's favorite house guest Cato Kaelin, and Bill Simmons from ESPN.com.
Game on. Phil went to the center of the room, and yelling at the top of his lungs, explained the game of Hold'em. We got underway, but the event was clearly going to be a disaster from the audience's perspective without audio or visual. The AV guys scrambled, and 20 minutes into the event, they came up with picture and a microphone system that actually worked. The audience burst into applause, and Phil quickly took control of the crowd and brought them all the action.
Phil Hellmuth and Chris Ferguson busted out in the first few hands. The celebrities were playing quite loosely, it seemed. In order to bring some of the action to the audience, Phil had an idea called "Play Along With..." He'd choose a celeb, like Clyde, and when he was in the pot, he'd show Clyde's cards to the crowd through the camera. It proved to be a very successful way to keep the crowd connected to the game.
Everyone was having a good time, and after the pros busted out, we consolidated down to 1 table of 9. Matt Savage was raising the blinds appropriately, and soon enough, the weakest players were eliminated one by one.
Down to 4, we decided to break for a short time and conduct the charity auction. We had two big items. The first, a trip for two to the Isle of Capri casino in the Bahamas included a charter flight, dinner for two, and 3 nights stay. It went for $1400. The second item was a beautiful diamond and gold necklace donated generously by Marino's Golden Touch Jewelry (yes, they are related to Dan Marino). Ralphie McInVale just so happened to be Houston's best auctioneer, and graciously offered to help us get the most for CRPF by doing the honors. Using all of his skills, he pilfered Jeff Bagwell's credit card and used it to bid for the item on Jeff's behalf. Jeff was a great sport about the whole thing and generously consented to the $2600 winning bid. Jeff did, handed his credit card over to CRPF's Jan Mahrer, and then headed off to the bar for another drink.
Carolyn Farb, the philanthropist we had taught to play poker just a few days before, was playing very good poker. Her "strategy" was paying off, but it was big trouble when it got down to three. Eddie George and Jerome Bettis were playing aggressively, and Carolyn just couldn't flop enough sets, flushes, and straights to keep in the game. With the blinds sky high because we were up against time constraints, she was eliminated in third place. Extremely well done for a first timer!
The heads-up battle took on a completely intense feel. Best friends, division rivals, #6 vs. #11 on the all-time rushing list. These guys each wanted badly to win. Eddie George, with a monster chip lead, pushed in almost every hand. Jerome laid it down until finally taking a stand with 99. He won. And he won the next hand, and the next, and the next. In 3 minutes, he went from down to the felt to in the lead.
But, Eddie George would eventually take over again, and soon thereafter, we were crowning him the champion. Phil's voice, completely shot after yelling into the microphone for nearly 3 hours, was raw. The press seemed to eat it up, and all the fans had a great time. Overall, it was a complete success.
Immediately after the event, we decided to head into town for yet another night of debauchery. We called a taxi company and were told they were sending a van for us. About 20 minutes later the van showed. From there, we went on the excursion of a lifetime. The driver was completely inept and got lost multiple times. A two mile drive turned into over an hour of hell in traffic and wrong turns. Finally, we arrived in the downtown area.
Antonio and Annie had a hookup at the ESPN party, so we all headed over there. We used Antonio's passes and got in for the open bar party. Ben started drinking heavily. It was difficult to really get into the whole thing, though, because we were so damned tired. Eventually, we decided to bail on the ESPN party and go back to BAR Houston. The girls from the previous night's activity, Arwen and Danielle, joined us, and we went over there at around 1am.
Thanks to the manager, we all got right in. All except for Ben, who did not have proper ID. He and Rick went over to the Hard Rock next door and told us they'd get into BAR somehow and meet us. A few drinks, some dancing, etc. Then, suddenly, we see Ben and Rick there in the bar. Persistence paid off! While we're congratulating him on getting in, a guy walks up and hands Ben a wallet, "Here, you dropped this, man." Ben taps his back pocket and says, "It's not mine, I have my wallet." The guy insists that he saw the wallet come out of Ben's pocket. Ben grabs his pocket and says no, he has his wallet. The guy insists. Ben walks away shaking his head and gets another drink.
Soon enough, the bar closes and we're all piled into a van and headed back for the RV. Ben is wrecked. The van stops and picks up another group of about 6 people, including 3 hotties. Rick starts a conversation with one of the girls: "What did you guys do tonight?" he asks. They answer and reciprocate. "Well, we were at the Celebrity Poker tournament at Drexler's." The girl lit up. "I watch that those shows on TV all the time," she says. Phil is completely quiet in the back seat.
Rick, sensing an opportunity here, proceeds with, "What do you think of the hosts on that show?"
She bites hard. "Well, Kevin Pollak is pretty good, but that supposed expert on the show really sucks. He never says anything that has to do with the hand that they are playing."
Rick plays along with her for a bit, getting more and more indicting statements from her before letting her in on the secret. I'm laughing my ass off in the back seat, and eventually Rick tells her that that guy that doesn't know anything about the game is in the van, and he points to me. She turns white as a sheet and spends the next 20 minutes in the van making excuses, apologizing, back tracking. It was hilarious! Right about then, Ben decides to puke in the van. Nice. Rafe tips the driver $20 extra to make the mess go away, and we made our escape.
Back at the RV, Phil takes the couch, Rick throws a blanket in the passenger seat, and Ben passes out on the floor. He promises not to puke in the RV and we all settle in for a much-deserved night of sleep. Twenty minutes later, Phil wakes up and sees Ben standing straight up, dick out, pissing all over the change-caddy in between the passenger and driver seat. A loud shriek and a slap to the head brought Ben out of his drunken-coma. Phil toweled up the disgusting mess in a state of disbelieving de vu. One day left on tour, Super Bowl Sunday!
Our 11am wakeup came far too early. Phil gives a recap of the night's activities to a completely oblivious Ben, and makes him spend 20 minutes vigorously cleaning the change-caddy. We all had a good laugh about it.
We decide to head into Drexler's for lunch, and soon enough we are joined by Brian who had just dropped PJ and Luke at the airport. We're playing "Lenny's Delight" (a card game invented by the Tiltboys) and eating the buffet while watching pre-Super Bowl coverage and nursing hangovers.
About half way through lunch, Ben reaches for his wallet. Instead, he finds a pack of playing cards in his back pocket. Wallet is, inexplicably, gone. We remind him of the guy in the bar that insisted that Ben's wallet had fallen from his pants pocket. Again, another laugh at Ben's expense.
At 2:30, we head down to the Super Bowl media center for one last interview. Last year, in San Diego, we were interviewed by Sporting News Radio's "Burger and Stelton" show about an hour before kickoff. They wanted to do a trip recap with us in exactly the same time slot. Fantastic. Unfortunately, Phil's voice was completely shot, so Rafe had to do the interview solo. He did a great 15 minute segment.
Now, the bonus for doing an interview on Super Bowl Sunday is getting to ride the media bus down to the stadium and back. We hopped on at about 4pm and arrived at the stadium at 4:45 or so. In line, we found the poker gang, Phil Hellmuth, Chris Ferguson, Annie Duke, Antonio Esfendiari, Howard Lederer, Robert Williamson and Matt Savage. After a brief reunion, we headed into the game.
We were a little nostalgic going into the last sports event on tour, but we were excited for the game. The phone was ringing off the hook with friends from all over the country calling to congratulate us for our accomplishments, and to get some action down on the game. We took a couple of thousand in bets from our good friend, and total sports betting fish, Paul. We had Carolina and the 6.5 points. Seemed like a lock.
With nearly an hour before game time, we had plenty of time to get a few beers and make some esoteric wagers. Here's how Rafe's phone memo pad looked after the game:
L ne win toss 200
L special teams score 200
L (settle) over 3.5 field goals for game 200 -- 175
W ne > time posession 300/200
L no score last 2 min 1st half 200/240
W under 33 yd line after kickoff 200
L car score first 200
L (shank) field goal this drive 200
L car last team to score 200
L over 31 yd line on punt 200
W penalty on drive 600/300
L under 9.5 2nd qtr 200
-- car +3 for game 1000
W penalty this drive 200/400
W under 24yds return 400
Soon enough, we were standing for the National Anthem, and of course, the kickoff. Reliant Arena was rocking.
The first quarter and much of the first half was a completely boring, lackluster affair. We hoped the rest of the game and the halftime show would be better.
Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Kidd Rock, and a couple of other acts "performed" during the show. We were too far away to make much of it, though. We were particularly disappointed with the pyrotechnics used inside a closed dome - it seemed very, very smoky after the show. From our nosebleed upper-levels, this was a problem. We didn't even see the highlight of the halftime show, Janet's boob.
At the start of the second half, the world famous streaker made his mark. Running out on the field in a referee outfit, he went straight to midfield, ripped his Velcro suit off, and began river dancing right in the middle of the field. We were all stunned, and no one really knew what was going on. After about 20 seconds, security starting coming at him from all sides and the guy took off. One of the Patriots took a full body block to him and laid him out. They took him off the field face down.
After those theatrics, the next quarter seemed to go by in a complete blur. With New England up 11 and driving down the field, Rafe's cell phone rang. It was Paul, the guy we'd made the big money bet with before the game. Paul had his entire family chanting in the background, "Easy Money... Easy Money... Easy Money..." before he cackled and hung up. As soon as he hung up, Brady threw an interception in the endzone. Two plays later, Delhomme found a receiever down the left side for an 85 yard touch down pass, Carolina down by 5 and going for 2, which they missed. But, at least we're covering... So much for EASY MONEY!
The next ten minutes were a see-saw back and forth battle, with a record 37 points scored in the fourth period. Score tied with 1:30 to go in the game at 29 all, the Pats take the ball 80 yards down field in about a minute, and with 8 seconds left, Adam Vinitieri lines up for a 41 yard field goal attempt.
It's up, it looks long enough... it's GOOD! The Patriots win the Super Bowl! Pats win! We cover! Easy Money! Easy Money!
After the trophy presentation, we headed out of the stadium with the masses and prayed that our media badges would get us on the bus back to the downtown. Indeed, they worked, and 20 minutes later, exhausted, we were deposited at the media center.
Never to give up a night on the town or free food and drinks, we walked about 6 blocks down to the Hyatt Regency where ESPN was throwing a post-game party. We downed a few, had some food, and completely and utterly spent, caught a taxi back to the Ultimate Sports Adventure RV for the very last time on tour.
42,000 miles. 137 Sports Events. 40 states. The Top 25 Public Golf Courses. $100,000 raised on behalf of the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation. We did it. We accomplished all of our goals, and as we fell asleep that night, we knew that this year would go down in history as the best year in our lives. It was, without doubt, the greatest road trip in sports history. Never again will we be able to watch a major sports event without remembering the tour, the RV, the good times, the friends that helped along the way, and, most importantly, the two women to whom we dedicate this tour:
Phil's Great Aunt
Marie Elizabeth Lucas
Columbia, South Carolina
And
Rafe's Grandmother
Frieda Furst
Asbury Park, New Jersey
We sincerely hope we made you proud.
Phil Gordon and Rafe Furst
Postscript:
Before the tour, we made a list of fun little challenges that we could pursue throughout the year. One of them was "Drag Race the John Madden Cruiser." Well, it didn't happen. But, as we were driving out of Houston the day after the Super Bowl, guess who happened to drive right by? Yep, you guessed it, the Madden Cruiser itself. For the record, they were not towing a vehicle, they have a more powerful engine, and well, let's just say this: we let Madden take this one.
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